We talk about what research tells us about loneliness, and what you can do to combat it. We also share how some elders in China are overcoming societal norms to meet their needs.
In this Episode:
- 02:42 – The Fable of the Sand Dollar and Almond Sand Dollar Cookie Recipe
- 05:29 – How Loneliness Affects Us and What to Do About It
- 38:04 – Are You Lonely Tonight? China’s Elder Edition
- 49:07 – Outro
Loneliness is the Most Terrible Poverty
Mother Teresa once said that “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”
As humans, we thrive on meaningful social connections. Feelings of loneliness set in when there is a difference between one’s desired and one’s actual level of social relationships.
Where social isolation is a lack of social connections (like what we experienced during pandemic isolation), loneliness is the feeling of being alone, regardless of the amount of social contact.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, regardless of the amount of social contact.
If you feel lonely, you’re in good company. A Gallup poll survey released in October 2023 documenting that of 142 countries, 24% of people aged 15 and older self-reported feeling very or fairly lonely in response to the question, “How lonely do you feel?” That’s nearly 1 in 4 adults across the world have reported feeling very or fairly lonely.
The survey also found that the rates of loneliness were highest in young adults, with 27% of young adults ages 19 to 29 reporting feeling very or fairly lonely. The lowest rates were found in older adults. Only 17% of people aged 65 and older reported feeling lonely. These data are a good reminder that loneliness is not just a problem of aging — it’s a problem that can affect everyone at any age!
Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation
The US Surgeon General published a report in 2023 called Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation with good information and graphics. In the overview it reviews factors that can shape social connections. You can download the full PDF here.
The Importance of Connection
In the video above, the Surgeon General states that lacking connection can increase the risk of premature death to levels comparable to smoking daily!
How do we connect? We can take simple steps such as:
- Connect: Answer a phone call from a friend
- Share: Invite someone over to share a meal
- Listen: Listen and be present during a conversation
- Serve: Seek out opportunities to serve others
We talk about the role of social media – it can be a tool or a hindrance, depending on the level of engagement with others, and whether it is a distraction isolating you from a real-world gathering. Use it as a tool: join the conversation with our Everyone Dies Facebook group!
References:
- Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions (cdc.gov)
- Surkalim D L, Luo M, Eres R, Gebel K, van Buskirk J, Bauman A et al. The prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries: systematic review and meta-analysis BMJ 2022; 376 :e067068 doi:10.1136/bmj-2021-067068
- Loneliness in America: How the Pandemic Has Deepened an Epidemic of Loneliness and What We Can Do About It
- National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. 2020. Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press. https://doi.org/10.17226/25663.
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020). Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions. www.cdc.gov; CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/lonely-older-adults.html
Resources:
- Data on loneliness in Britain: Appendix version – CEL write up – ONS analysis 2020-22 (campaigntoendloneliness.org)
- China’s Hottest New TV Genre: Dating Shows for Older People – The New York Times (nytimes.com)
- 5 easy tips for making friends as an adult : Life Kit : NPR
- Almost a Quarter of the World Feels Lonely (gallup.com)
- America has a loneliness epidemic. Here are 6 steps to address it : NPR
- Social Connection — Current Priorities of the U.S. Surgeon General (hhs.gov)
- Surgeon General’s Advisory on our Nation’s Loneliness Epidemic | 5.2.2022 – YouTube
- A Framework for a National Strategy to Advance Social Connection (hhs.gov)
- Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation (hhs.gov)
- AARP—Provides helpful information to seniors to help improve quality of life and provides access to Community Connection Tools.
- Area Agencies on Aging (AAA)—A network of over 620 organizations across America that provides information and assistance with programs including nutrition and meal programs (counseling and home-delivered or group meals), caregiver support, and more. The website can help you find your local AAA, which may provide classes in Tai Chi and diabetes self-management.
- Eldercare Locator—A free national service that helps find local resources for seniors such as financial support, caregiving services, and transportation. It includes a brochure that shows how volunteering can help keep you socially connected.
- National Council on Aging—Works with nonprofit organizations, governments, and businesses to provide community programs and services. This is the place to find what senior programs are available to assist with healthy aging and financial security, including the Aging Mastery Program® that is shown to increase social connectedness and healthy eating habits.
- National Institute on Aging (NIA)– Provides materials on social isolation and loneliness for older adults, caregivers, and health care providers. Materials include health information, a print publication available to view or order no-cost paper copies, a health care provider flyer, and social media graphics and posts.
- The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
- The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
China’s Creative Way to Address Elder Loneliness
We share the fun story of China’s two game shows, “Care and Love” and “Not Too Late for Fate” which charmingly help lonely elders find potential new beaus. We finally have our version “The Golden Bachelor”, but they were way ahead of us!
Looking for love, but not into the game show scene? We have a few resources for you! Check them out in the resources section above. We also have a previous episode that might help a few of you: S2E5: Looking for Love after a Partner Dies
Recipe of the Week:
Many people dedicated to public service are familiar with the “sand dollar story,” shared in this episode. It is the standard call to duty, knowing that each life you touch matters, even if it is only one. This is true about today’s topic, loneliness. If our actions make one person less lonely, then we are doing a service to that person and to society. You can make a difference.
Maybe you can make our recipe of the week to share with someone who is lonely. We have almond sand dollar cookies that would make a great addition to your next funeral lunch or as a gift. These cookies are a cross between a sugar cookie and snickerdoodles, perfect to warm a heart!
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Everyone Dies: and yes, it is normal!
Everyone Dies (and yes, it is normal) is a story about a young boy named Jax who finds something special on the beach where he and his grandpa Pops are enjoying a wonderful day. Pops helps Jax understand that death is a normal part of life. This book provides an age appropriate, non-scary, comfortable way to introduce the important topic of mortality to a preschool child. Its simple explanation will last a lifetime. Autographed copies for sale at: www.everyonediesthebook.com. Also available at Amazon
Mourning Jewelry
We offer a way to memorialize your loved one or treasured pet with a piece of handmade jewelry. When people comment on it and the wearer can say for example “I received this when my mother died” which opens the conversation about this loss. All our jewelry is made with semi-precious stones and beads, vintage beads, and pearls. You can choose between earrings or bracelets and the color family. Learn More
