“Gaslighting” has been ubiquitous in common language recently, but it is often misused from its original meaning. True gaslighting is a form of a emotional abuse…what do you within one of these relationships and even communication disenfranchisement seen in the medical community? Listen to learn.
In This Episode:
Transcript – (Click “Transcript” tab)
- 06:18 – Surviving the Storm – Eagles, Grief and Survival
- 09:12 – Eagle Brand Condensed Milk, and Recipe of the Week
- 12:03 – What Does Gaslighting Really Mean, and What to Do About It?
- 33:38 – Poetry by Jessica Jocelyn – a Characterization of Grief
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the gaslighter uses psychological manipulation to undermine the gaslightee, causing the person to question themselves and their reality. In medical settings, “medical gaslighting” is the experience of being met with disbelief about your own experience of your body and mind. It emphasizes the power imbalance characteristic to these interactions, where the opinions of medical practitioners are thought to be “more real” than the lived experiences of the women seeking healthcare.
Miriam-Webster Dictionary Describes Gaslighting as:
Gaslighting: psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator
Where did the Term Gaslighting Come From?
The term “gaslighting” was coined from the 1938 British play called Gas Light, in which a husband manipulates a wife into thinking she is crazy by slyly changing the intensity of the gas lights in their home when she is left alone. He does this in an attempt to make her believe she cannot trust herself or her memory. It was dramatized in the 1944 movie Gaslight staring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman.
Many feel the term is a bit hard to understand, and it is certainly misused recently from everything from disagreements to “ghosting” by a date. But those uses demean the truly abusive relationships the term represents. See the video below for segments of the movie and reactions.
For those who have seen the movie, you may enjoy this fantastic parody by SNL:
Does Gaslighting Occur in Healthcare?
Our healthcare practitioners can seem to participate in a form of gaslighting if they do not take our symptoms seriously. Studies have been conducted regarding women seeking care but encountering health dismissals and minimalizations, blaming and shaming, normalizing of their pain, and psychologizing. This is termed communicative disenfranchisement, and sometimes called “medical gaslighting”
Research about Gaslighting
This study quantified gaslighting in romantic relationships. See the graphic and explanation for cycles seen in these emotionally-abusive relationships.
Where Can I Learn More About Gaslighting?
Listen to our podcast to learn about the origins and uses, how gaslighting is encountered in the medical community, red flags to identify gaslighting, and how to cope with gaslighting in a relationship or work environment.
Related Episodes:
References:
- After the storm, bald eagles ‘Nick’ and ‘Nora’ left desperately searching for their eaglets | CNN
- Fallen baby bald eagle near White Rock Lake taken to rehab facility, official says (dallasnews.com)
- How ‘Medical Gaslighting’ Affects Women With Chronic Illness: Study | Women Report Disbelief From Others About Their Chronic Illness: Study | Multiple Sclerosis News Today
- Thompson, C. M., Babu, S., & Makos, S. (2022). Women’s Experiences of Health-Related Communicative Disenfranchisement. Health Communication, 38(14), 3135–3146. https://doi.org/10.1080/10410236.2022.2137772
- 3 levels of gaslighting and how to deal with them – The Washington Post
- Klein, W., Li, S., & Wood, S. (2023). A qualitative analysis of gaslighting in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 30(4), 1316–1340. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12510
Resources:
- Jessica Jocelyn (Author of Finding Daisies) (goodreads.com)
- Watch: Baby bald eagles blown from nest during Iowa tornado outbreak (msn.com)
- Big Red And Nestling Blown Off Cornell Hawks Nest During Blustering Snowstorm – May 9, 2020 (youtube.com)
- Baby bald eagle reintroduced to nesting area near White Rock Lake, but what’s next? (msn.com)
- https://youtu.be/d5JLcsDQ-y8
- The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life: Purchase here: https://a.co/d/i9QFqoY
The Paradox of Grief
Poet Jessica Jocelyn shares “poetry to help you feel less alone in this big world.” Jessica Jessica Jocelyn, a thirty-something author of four poetry books, a proud mother, and a nemophilist. By sharing her lived experiences, she strives to deeply connect with her readers and remind them that they are not in this alone. Jessica’s poetry may be hard to hear at times, but it’s always healing to read. In the same vein, her past may be dark, but writing serves as her spark of sunlight. When she isn’t storytelling, you can find this free-spirited goth spending quality time with her family that inspire her every day.
We thought this poem would especially resonate with those of you living with grief. As time since the loss stretches, many will expect us to be past it, but it is ever present, living alongside joy as we continue with life.
Loss in the Storm
We talk about a famous pair of eagles – Nick and Nora – and their tragic loss of eaglets when a storm toppled their nest just a couple of weeks before their two eaglets would fledge. It was agonizing for their community to watch as Nick and Nora spent the days following the storm circling and searching and squawking for their offspring. Earlier in the week, Scott Meril, a retired medical doctor, came to the nesting area to capture photographs of the mourning eagle parents. The images show one of the eagles squawking into the sky with its head tilted back in a pose that seemed to capture the bird’s desperation.
Thankfully there was a somewhat happy ending – after the storm passed, neighbors raced out to check on the nest and the eagles. Even though water was rushing over the banks of the creek below the nest and the fierce winds toppled a mix of large oak, cedar and American elm trees, an eaglet was rescued and returned to the wild after brief monitoring.
Recipe of the Week – Foolproof Chocolate Fudge
We talk about Eagle Brand condensed milk. Charlie reminisced about his mother’s perfection at cooking Dulce da Leche, which can be used as an extra-special topping for this week’s recipe – foolproof chocolate fudge, courtesy Eagle Brand.
Everyone Dies: and yes, it is normal!
Everyone Dies (and yes, it is normal) is a story about a young boy named Jax who finds something special on the beach where he and his grandpa Pops are enjoying a wonderful day. Pops helps Jax understand that death is a normal part of life. This book provides an age appropriate, non-scary, comfortable way to introduce the important topic of mortality to a preschool child. Its simple explanation will last a lifetime. Autographed copies for sale at: www.everyonediesthebook.com. Also available at Amazon
Mourning Jewelry
We offer a way to memorialize your loved one or treasured pet with a piece of handmade jewelry. When people comment on it and the wearer can say for example “I received this when my mother died” which opens the conversation about this loss. All our jewelry is made with semi-precious stones and beads, vintage beads, and pearls. You can choose between earrings or bracelets and the color family. Learn More
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