In our S6E24 podcast (Grounding Techniques “Life Hack”: Your Secret Skill for Surviving the Bad Days) we talked about grounding techniques. As I was writing the corresponding show notes I need to clarify for myself, what is the difference between grounding and mindfulness? Here’s what the box of knowledge returned for me:
Grounding skills are typically utilized for short-term use in a crisis situation when feeling overwhelmed to center the body and mind.
Mindfulness can include grounding skills but is a broader practice that can be integrated into daily life.
As I thought about it more, I realized how hand-in-hand they go. Mindfulness is a practice – and the key word is practice – it takes a while to get in sync with what that truly means. But when we do it right, it gives us a resource to fall back on on those bad days. That’s when grounding comes into play, a stop-right-now-and-get-your-bearings to keep emotions from escalating.
Grounding Toolbox: Create a Safe Place
I currently volunteer at a camp for children of prisoners. Obviously just having a parent incarcerated is trauma enough, but many of them are coping with being the victims themselves, feeling abandoned, angry, and alone as many of them are also placed in foster care. Some of the kids come from inner city situations, and the quiet Ozark setting is a unique experience for them. As they come back year after year, it’s something they really look forward to.
This beautiful Ozark field was full of things to hear, see, smell, and feel for a complete metal “snapshot.”
As I led nature rotations last year, I had a group of teen girls that didn’t really want to participate in much, and one of them at least was really struggling with something. I took them to a hilltop overlooking a meadow bordered by beautiful mature oak trees, and we talked about how healing nature can be.
I encouraged them just to use their five senses and make a mental snapshot of everything. Many of them had never quite done anything like that and it took them a little bit to get into it. I walked them through just breathing, concentrating on their breaths. They set down their water bottles and stopped talking, and started to relax and explore their surroundings with “soft eyes” and ears.
Take a Snapshot With All Your Senses
I coached them – “What do you hear? What do you see and smell? What do you feel?”
They started noticing the birdsong in the field and smelled the resin of the cedar trees just to the left. A warm summer breeze brushed their faces, wafting fragrances of fresh-cut hay and the sweet earthiness of the surrounding oak grove. Butterflies danced along the wildflowers that lined the fence row. Cicadas rose up and down with a rhythmic churr in surround sound, accentuated by chirps of cardinals overhead. It was almost as if the girls were completely oblivious to everything around them until they paused…and listened. They were beginning to accomplish mindfulness – completely in the moment, perceiving every sense.
I encouraged them to burn that moment into their memory as a safe place. When they needed grounding, they could pause, close her eyes, take deep breaths, and replay every sense that they experienced.
The 4-7-8 breathing technique is taught by my VA wellness team as a great way to activate the parasympathetic (calming) circuit in the body. It can lower the heart rate and bring balance back from an “alarm” and activated state of mind and body.
Mindfulness has Many Forms
I personally learned this through my own trauma recovery. The Veterans Administration has some excellent coaching for veterans that I put to use.
One moment in time I replayed to ground myself was a meadow I sat down in while on a horse ride with a friend. The strong Oklahoma wind rippled the grass like waves. The brilliant red Indian paintbrush nodded in the breeze; I could hear my horse munching softly, his deep, calming breaths, and could even smell him as he tenderly muzzled me. This place was one of peace and contentment.
Or sometimes it took more tactile experiences to focus on. This especially became applicable when I was dealing with severe waves of pain. When I am physically able, I love to ride a motorcycle. It is hard to explain to my caregivers how beneficial it was, from the rumble and soothing vibrations to the power I felt at its controls. I felt “at one” with the bike as I leaned perfectly into curves around a small lake I frequented. My rural course took me past a hard-working oil pump, freshly-cut hay fields, damp woodlands, wildflowers, wildlife, beautiful sunsets…I came back as if time stood still, but some work was done in my unconsciousness to dissipate the bad and help me appreciate the good.
Often doing something active while remaining mindful helps distract from the pain (emotional and physical) of present. For me it was riding…a horse, a motorcycle – but fully enjoying the sounds, smells and scenery around me. (And don’t worry, this was a pose – I always ride with a helmet and vest!)
Later I discovered fly fishing – I think nothing is as healing as being surrounded by a babbling stream – fly tying, gardening, bird watching, sewing, among many other hobbies that can just completely draw me into the present. I’d say it’s not what you do, it is how you do it.
“…through the practice of mindfulness over the years, I have a huge library of experiences recorded in high fidelity.“
Need Grounding? Reach Into Your Library
Chronic disease has made it difficult to do many of the things I formerly enjoyed. Or I only get to do it once in a great while when I have a good day. But through the practice of mindfulness over the years, I have a huge library of experiences recorded in high fidelity.
When I feel overwhelmed, I’ve trained myself to pause. Take deep cyclical breaths. Open my senses and fully experience what is around me.
If needed, I reach into my library and replay an experience that brought me peace.
What is in your library?
If you missed the podcast about grounding, be sure to catch it HERE.
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